"Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my shameful deeds--they haunt me day and night." Psalm 51:2-3
Not everyone who is guilty feels shame. It is possible to chloroform the conscience, so false innocence is not uncommon. Still, not everyone who feels shame is guilty- false guilt can be imposed by the ignorant or the abuser. But when we do what God forbids and are guilty before God, feeling guilty and ashamed is an appropriate response. When a man has done wrong he should never be ashamed of being ashamed. The real shame is shamelessness that denies wrong doing and thus never seeks nor receives forgiveness.
King David had done what God forbids. For many months after Davids adultery, his complicity in murder, and his constant efforts to hide the truth and dodge responsibility, David did nothing to set matters right with his Lord ( 2 Sam. 11). Than Nathan came on the scene and confronted him (2 Sam. 12:1-14). David must have fondly imagined that the things he had done were lost in the mists of time, forgotten by God and unknown to man. But they weren't! The things he had done were written in bold, red ink on an open page in God's book, which God read aloud to Nathan, his prophet. But, David when confronted, bravely and humbly faced up to what he had done. Then he pleaded with the Lord, "Wash me clean from my guilt. Purify me from my sin. For I recognize my shameful deeds-- they haunt me day and night" (Psalm 51:2-3). Once David faced his guilt the appropriate vocabulary flowed from his lips. Guilt, evil, sin, shame. David called on the Lord's mercy, love, and compassion. There was not a word of excuse, not a suggestion of alibi.
David was guilty, ashamed, miserable, but he wanted a fresh start. And he got it! The broken bones of his shattered life were healed, his willing spirit was reestablished, the old vigor was restored, the joy came surging back, and the forgiven man went on his way rejoicing and serving. (But still faced the consequences, he didn't escape them 2 Sam. 12:10).
Men should never be ashamed to admit there guilt, and they should never be guilty of denying their shameful actions. Men have difficulty saying, "I was wrong and I am sorry. Please help me." Perhaps it has to do with the male ego. We apparently have a deep need to project an image of confidence, competence, and control. But we need to realize that real men don't hide behind fragile egos- they come clean about their shortcomings, and they grow strong through admitting their failures.
I get it, i know who I am now in this life, and that God has a plan for my life not to harm me, but for me to have a hope and a future. I am ready now, I am ready now for the journey that Christ is going to put me on. My soul has been restored, because of what Christ has done. I have felt the guilt, the shame, and am dealing with the consequences everday, but its never to late to start new. Today is a new day a new beginning. I am scared to death, but I want to live for the Lord.
Thursday, November 13, 2008
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1 comment:
i really like this post. I can definately relate. sometimes i feel so ashamed for what i did in the past and till this day i regret what i did. It took me a long time to realize that God had forgiven me even before i said something. But I know now that he has such a beautiful plan for my life and i know that God forgives me no matter what i do and that he loves me unconditionally.
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